How to influence toddlers (and grown-ups)

When my oldest teen was a toddler, she used to love playing in the sandpit in our local park.

She’d make sandcastle after sandcastle, before stamping them to the ground with her chubby little feet.

She loved that sandpit so much she never wanted to leave.  

There would be tears and tantrums every time, as we tried to persuade and cajole her to get back in the buggy:

‘Come on now sweetheart, it’s time to go – it’s lunchtime.  We’ve been here for an hour already so we have to leave.’

Nothing seemed to make a difference.

When I went back to work, our nanny, Marta, took her to the park instead.  

When we asked Marta how it had been leaving the sand pit, she said ‘Oh, she was fine.’

How on earth did Marta do it? we wondered.

‘Well, I just asked her if she wanted to stay in the sandpit or come and see the fluffy doggies in the other part of the park.  She chose the dogs.’

I realised two important things in that moment:

1. I knew absolutely nothing about parenting

2. Options are wonderfully persuasive

As sales and communication expert, Andy Bounds, writes:

“‘If you say to someone ‘Would you like X or not?’, they can reply ‘Not.’

But when you offer options ‘We have two good options here – X or Y.  Which do you prefer?’”

…you have a much greater chance of success.  

That’s because we all love the illusion of choice – it makes us feel in control, whether we’re three years old or 30 years old.

So, how could YOU use the power of options to win people over?

Maybe you’ll ask participants to choose which topics you cover first in your training or presentation?

Or perhaps you’ll give a senior stakeholder two recommended paths to choose from?

Let me know what you try – I’d love to know.